my hope

sarcastic anger

2004-10-27T01:49:34Z

so i realize that it has been quite a long while since i have written in my live journal. well i'll fill you in on whats going on, in case anyone cares. well 1st off, i think i'm going to change my live journal account AGAIN!!!! yay?! i think i'll change it cuz my hope isnt dead anymore!! yay-o. so here it is. ******* flyin lama ********** well, there ya go.

homecoming #2 ?

2004-10-14T00:07:52Z

well well well..this is the homecoming that i have been looking forward to since like the 6th day of school or something. well, up until like 2 weeks ago, that is...NOW, david is being an asshole to me, and he is still bitching about the most petty shit you could think of. its really starting to bother me. but me, megan, nikki, rebecca, and cherice are all still going in a group, and all our dates...well minus david...so we'll have fun anyway. but homecoming #1 at Lake Park was so fun. everyone looked so awesome, and i totally miss seeing some people that i used to see all the time, it sucks seeing everyone again, and then hardly ever seeing/talking to them afterwards. We took a limo, and we took pictures at Sarah's, and then we took pictures at Turner Pond, and Kristy's little sister, liz, called me julie? cuz we look so much alike. but i suppose that me and julie are ok now? because neither of us seemed to show any issues, but mebbe that was just cuz neither of us wanted to fight on homecoming? i dont know, mebbe im just getting my hopes up. but o well, but i hope that homecoming this weekend doesnt end up being a total waste of my time...cuz if dave keeps this up, then its gonna be. but the tuesday after homecoming (the 19th) im going to a Kittie/Otep concert! yay! i cant wait, and then next month im going to 2 big concerts, that i am totally psyched about! but i gotta go do my homework...thats why i came online in the 1st place...im good at wasting time.

Cuz its a long hard road out of hell.

*xo*xo*

question for kristy...

2004-09-18T20:58:16Z

here is my question for kristy.... if she gives so little of a damn about me, then why does she check my live journal, and comment, and most likely pretend to be my boyfriends "ex" and say that hes gonna pull a "convieve and leave" on me? and why is that remotely funny to me?

Babble Babble Bitch Bitch Rebel Rebel Party Party Sex Sex Sex and dont forget the Violence Blah Blah Blah got your lovey dovey sad and lonely sticky stupid slogan.

*xo*xo*

highschool.

2004-08-28T19:30:04Z

oh jesus...i just got done with my 1st week of highschool....uuuggghhh. 1st day sucked...next 3 days were pretty good. i know a good # of ppl, and they are all punk/goth -ish i guess...i hate labeling, but they are. they are like me!!!! WOOT! oh god im into that whole i "like" someone again thing....hes a SENIOR! go me! hes HOTT and a SENIOR! hey who is going to homcoming. whoever reads this, answer, or whatever. gotta go to a par-tay. later

i hate writing shit, this is so stupid

*xo*xo*

YAY!

2004-08-16T05:00:00Z

I SAW STATIC X IN CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!

so clean.

2004-08-15T21:25:03Z

i slept over at kristy's house last night...and i woke up, took a shower, went home, and took another shower. im not sure why....o well...anywho, last night was fun as hell. at like 5:30ish me and kirsty went to the skatepark, and we saw jerry by the little park thinger by the end of the path, and when he saw mw he looked like he was about to shit his pants...he's like "caitlin.....................................hi..............................." and i sed hi, but we kept walking...then we met up with aggie, nick, and ben, and i met some kid named rob, and saw mike (w) and we went to mcdonalds like 3 times...then we went to get chinese (FINALLY...ive been waiting all week to have chinese, my mom sed we would have it for dinner one day, but, as usual, that never happened...) then i saw mr saeger...weird... and went back to the skatepark. did some vandalism. went waslking arounf roselle. walked past mike kuffel's house like 6 times yelling random things...this whole time we were with aggie. then aggie had to go home, and so did we, so me and kristy went on the tramp-o-ma-line, then watched Fear, and Emperors new groove (laughed my ass off). then i had to sleep on the floor. while kristy had the comfort of her bed. psh...ooh yay! anthony sent me pictures!!!! woot! i need eyeliner bad...im running really really low. and i need to re-dye my hair...god damn...school starts on the 25th...uuuggghhh...o well.

i sed i love you, you should know i lied.

*xo*xo*

Hope is dead 6: call 4840764 for a good time...hehe...

2004-08-14T01:45:24Z

oh christ...my day has totally sucked the hugest of all huge nads. god freakin damn. well i slept over at kristy's house, which wasnt bad, we had to go to bed at like 1 tho.. i woke up at like 745...and thats WAY too early for me.. until school starts on the 25th.. and i sat there poking kristy until she woke up an hour later. then we made something to eat...i dont remember what. then we went on the tramp-o-ma-line, and liz soaked us with the hose.. so then i was cold AND wet.. then we went to the skatepark.. and wasn't that a joy.. i got myself a mcflurry.. and paid another 20cents for extra freakin oreos.. and then nick showed up...i had a terrible mood swing, and i really dont know what caused it. so then i felt like shit. after that i got a call from kristy...something really bad happened to her, and so now shes all upset n such...hahahaha my dad just called Iverson a "punk". i know what he meant, but it was funny as hell. so anywhat, back to kristy...so shes all like bleh now...makes me sad. OH! i just remembered....i was sitting in kristy's basement and i was doing something annoying, and she turned around (she was by the tv) and she sed "stop! or im gonna throw this dvd at you.." and i guess i didnt stop...and so she flung a god damn DVD at my FACE!!!!!!!! its nailed me in the forhead....i have a mark there...it was BLEEDING! it hurt so much. *cries* lol right after that i screamed...really loud...*cuz no parental units were home* and shawn came running down the stairs like WTF HAPPENED?!!! it was gold. haha well im hungry...lata

i dont have to speak at you to see it in your eyes...

*xo*xo*

dicnar1989: no one calles me a whore

2004-08-03T03:15:25Z

omfg im gonna die from fuckin laughing. im almost crying from laughing.

dicnar1989: were the FUCK is banana man
Kittierox124: i replaced him
dicnar1989: o no
dicnar1989: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
dicnar1989: hes all i hav to live for                                             Kittierox124: there i changed it back
dicnar1989: yyyyaaaayayayayayayayayya
dicnar1989: omg omg omg
dicnar1989: o
dicnar1989: m
dicnar1989: g                                                                                   dicnar1989: wuts up
Kittierox124: nothing at all
Kittierox124: whats up with you
dicnar1989: nothing jus watchin banana man                               dicnar1989: thats it
dicnar1989: banana man jus sed im a fuckin whore
Kittierox124: wtf
Kittierox124: lmao
dicnar1989: tell him to get lost
dicnar1989: i dont like him no more
dicnar1989: that son of a bitch
Kittierox124: were u talking to him?
dicnar1989: yes dammit
Kittierox124: why would he call u a whore
dicnar1989: cuz i sed hello
Kittierox124: lmao
dicnar1989: this isnt funny
dicnar1989: its serios
dicnar1989: jeez
Kittierox124: sorry
Kittierox124: just freeze him or something
dicnar1989: no u tell that slut to get lost
dicnar1989: no one calles me a whore
dicnar1989: dammit
Kittierox124: lmao im tryin to take ur terrible situation seriously....
dicnar1989: dammit
dicnar1989: u tell him to suck a fuckin nut
dicnar1989: ok
dicnar1989: im sick of his sass
Kittierox124: lower the window so that u cant see him
Kittierox124: he cant see u if u cant see him
dicnar1989: no im not doing him a favore
dicnar1989: hes an ass whole u tell him to fuck a testicle
Kittierox124: do u want me to change it back to the triangle?
Kittierox124: the horny triangle
dicnar1989: as long as
dicnar1989: nooooooooooooooooo
dicnar1989: hes horney
dicnar1989: noooooooo
dicnar1989: no
Kittierox124: lmao
Kittierox124: its from my live journal
dicnar1989: idc if its from the potty
dicnar1989: hes still horny
Kittierox124: why, do u have a problem with horny triangles?
dicnar1989: cuz he prolly is friends with little fuckin banana man
dicnar1989: that bitch

LMFAO *xo*xo*

ArmenianRoulette: what a faggot triangle

2004-08-02T06:49:56Z

what a bitch. i like the horny one the best.

NitroMonkey757: or phone sex

2004-08-02T06:47:33Z

hahah....mmm phone sex. so yea, im better now....i feel better. i had me some coffee, and i am kinda 1/2 hyper now. lol i wanna see what the triangle looks like when i say im hot. hahahaha

and i cant see you every night free.

*xo*xo*

Kittierox124: cuz i got attacked

2004-08-02T05:25:00Z

today has kinda sucked. i think alex is pissed off at me cuz i sed i would call her, and i forgot to...and then i didnt do anything besides clean all day. my dad yelled at me for reasons unknown....so i was just waiting to go to the taste of roselle all day. i went there, and i met up with julie. we saw kuffle, mike muschong, austin, nick, and some of his friends. (and this hott guy who asked me to go tot watch his band play. ) jerry sed he would be there, but like usual, i never saw him. i came home, hungry, and there was nothing to eat. i got yelled at for another unknown reason. then i go online, and nick tells me that everything is fake. everything, meaning EVERYTHING, is fake. nothing is real. all my emotions arent real, and just blah. and since then ive felt like shit. so ur prolly sick of hearing me bitch about meaningless things, so....yeah

And all i see, it burns my eyes. burning all inside. caught in the corners of my mind. thinking it over one more time. taking me over, taking all thats mine, one more time.

*xo*xo*

heh

2004-08-01T20:57:58Z

there is NO point in writing this....i just wanna c that the triangle looks like when i say my mood is horny. hahahaha....im not horny by the way, i just wanna see the damn tirangle...

hopeisdead66 @ 2004-08-01T01:21:00

2004-08-01T06:31:08Z

LMAO! thats all i have to say!!!!!!!!!

ArmenianRoulette: i am a flaming homsexual

ArmenianRoulette: hanus anus

ArmenianRoulette: her SOOOOOOUL SLIDES AWAY!

pUnKiSt Me: THAT DAMN TOLITE PAPER WINS AGAIN

god this gets better and better.

Chef bob555: WUTS GOING ON
Sportsguy919: u bein a hanus snus to me

WHAT THE FUCK????!!!!! LMAO!!!!

*xo*xo* (laughing hysterically)

damn snake

2004-08-01T04:30:09Z

my god damn snake bit me earlier....lil bitch. yay i found my lip gloss!!!!! im going to the taste of roselle 2marrow. someone come meet me there.....im goin at like 7.....i redyed the pink in my hair...again....it looks good. as usual ;-). punkistme hates me. who knew....lalalala....*yawn* ill write 2marrow...or later or something.

Beating me, beating me down, down, into the ground. screaming so sound. beating me, beating me down, down into the ground.....

*xo*xo*

YAY!

2004-08-01T00:13:09Z

i finally got my bass....and i have Salsa!!!!!!! today rocks!!!!!

*xo*xo*

black.

2004-07-31T05:24:05Z

i dont buy black everything just cuz i wanna be "gothic"...black looks good on me. or so ive been told at least...thats another one of those things that people might just be telling me to make me bug off...my mom went to target today and bought me black eye shadow. yay? well i get to get my bass at like 11:30 (a.m.) today. my clothes should finally be coming. i got a new candle. yay. talked to jerry's mom online...he doesnt need to know about that.....lalala....Blue moon tonight. makes me feel more energetic.woot woot. where is alex? she didnt leave a note or anything! does anyone know her where abouts? *cries* shes at a partay and she didnt invite me!!!!!!!!!! i wanna wash my hair, cuz i got a crap load of hair spray in it, and i dont wanna sleep on it.........yeah well...yeah

Why cant you see that you are my child....why dont u know what u are my mind. tell everyone in the world that I'm You. take this promise to the end of you.

i feel like a beautiful loser...i feel like im wasting my time

2004-07-30T19:51:08Z

ups didnt come today. that does surprise me. my family i going to a movie tonight, and they didnt invite me. im still wondering if i told the wrong person the wrong thing. i feel kinda empty, in a sense. i found a poem today, that i wrote a long time ago. i wish i hadn't found it...made me feel like crap. even more so then i already did. if i didnt know that I had written it, i wouldnt believe it was me. it was a good poem, and it had meaning. but for all the wrong reasons. i wrote that poem in 7th grade..the beginning of 7th grade. something happened later, sometime after i had written that. something big happeend....that changed a lot about me. it even changed the way i write. it changed my personality too...mebbe im just babbling on. that would be very likely.

i feel like a beautiful loser...i feel like im wasting my time....i feel like i cant escape my mind....

*xo*xo*

mood swing

2004-07-30T06:50:53Z

god damnit...i just had a damn mood swing. i was in SUCH a good mood. and then *poof* it was gone. now i feel like shit. uuuggghhh. nick is now saying that the fact that all his friend's relationships r goin down the crapper is cuz of him. he says: ArmenianRoulette: i pulled the trigger of fate. i think thats bullshit, but he wont believe otherwise. alex seems to be somewhat upset, and im not sure why. i hope i get my clothes 2day. that would cheer me up a little. i need to write. i need to do many thingS. whenever i seeM to feel like crap, three dayS grace comes on. no one caught onto what i just did, i can gauruntee(how do u spell that?) why is it that whenever i am in a bad mood, all my pets seem to flock around me? weird thing just happened...

pUnKiSt Me: Just for the record, porcupines masturbate by holding a stick between their legs and rubbing their genitals against it. Kittierox124: wow good to know

tell me, where the hell did she get that sentence from?!? ...yeah

I Hate My Life....Buried Alive Behind Enemy Lines

*xo*xo*

ArmenianRoulette: crap fuck

2004-07-30T04:33:47Z

god damn, nick never ever fails at making me feel better. even if im not feelin like shit, he still seems to be able to make me in a better mood. just read this, this will put u in a better mood too....

ArmenianRoulette: ah!
ArmenianRoulette: crap fuck

heh that is great......alex is at a party without me right now *cries* she'll pay. im goin 2 watch nick's band sometime in the near future....im not sure when tho...cuz now im not goin to WI... can someone PLEASE describe my personality for me...everyone else either 1. doesnt know how, 2. has failed miserably, or 3. makes NO sense at ALL....so if u have the time, comment and tell me. :-D mmhmm...well ill mebbe write later, im not sure yet, so...yeah.

im always afraid that your gone. away from me.

*xo*xo*

...I'm Nothing Special, I'm Not Unique...

2004-07-29T23:45:35Z

lalalala im listening to oTep! woot woot. damn i had fun last night...well, it all started yesterday morning.....adam asked me if i wanted to go to guitar center. so we went, only we ended up at Sam Ash...we both dont know how that happened...then alex called me, and invited me to Catwoman, and then when i asked adam if i could do, he decided he wanted to come with. so then we went to Catwoman, and then we went home, and chilled 4 awhile, and then i went over to alex's house, then then we went to brandon's house, and had a bon-fire, and alex got her freak on with brandon (HAHAHAHA) and then we went to alex's house, and then we watched Sailor Moon with Timmy, and his friend Zack (if thats how he spells it......sorry if its not) yeah then alex woke me up by putting her feet on my face, and then she drove me home, and then i CLEANED ALL FUCKING DAY. ugh, i did more cleaning today then i have my whole life put together....ahh it was terrible...and my damn clothes still havent come from UPS...damn they're slow. now my dad is yellin at me that im not payin attention to him, and i would be worried about him being able to read this from the top of the stairs...but he cant see that far....SO HAH! today is adam's birthday...hes 20...thats old. hes old now. seano is gone, im still trying to get that thru my head. damn how's this get so long. well i gotta go out to dinner....at the Village Tavern...for adam's b-day...ill be back, and write about what i ate, since i know that u all wanna read that. *winks* *got something in eye from winking* ........ *twitching* anywhat, ill write later

I'm Nothing Special, I'm Not Unique, I Have Many Secrets, And I'm At An End. I'm At An End........And There's.....NO WAY OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*xo*xo*

ArmenianRoulette: he is the biggest male bitch i know

2004-07-28T05:14:55Z

yeah well that whole mooovie idea was fucked up the ass. brandon bailed, then kristy and andy bailed, then it was just....ugh. BUT in place of going to a movie, i got to go to best buy, ended up spending $200, and went home happy as a gay man in a male strip bar. god damn i know so many ppl who are homophobic...its not even funny. i got Kittie's New CD, and i got Otep's New Cd. and i got 007 for gamecube. i got american history X for my brother, for his b-day. uhhh and i got some other shit, but i dont remember what....oh, and i got Myst...this FUCKED up computer game that i dont understand at all....but im going to play it until i get it right. NOOOO!!!!!!!!SEANO IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO

she is not scared to die. best things in life drive her to cry.

*xo*xo*

mooooovie

2004-07-28T00:59:29Z

yay im going to see a moooovie! ANCHORMAN! HEYO! You know its SAD but TRUE!!!!!! *xo*xo*

Anoyedbybros119:ok, tht was gay.

2004-07-27T23:02:55Z

ouch, gina, that really hurt....all i sed was "oh yea u no it" and she sed that was gay. yeah so this is the new live journal. it went from 99cent_cocacola to this. so stop checking 99cent_cocacola's and pay more attention to this one. yeah my "picture" that shows up in the corner or whatever, thats Lisa. shes the guitarist in Kittie, and i love her hair, thats why shes my icon thinger. im going to WI this weekend...yay......alex if u wanna talk to me that bad then stop playin starcraft...awww, my puppy, Velcan, just pissed on the carpet....im gonna strangle him...heh...little bitch. UPS IS HERE! woot woot!! i got my new shoes! yay! heyo...did u no that kittie's new cd, Until the End, came out today!!!!!!! so did Otep's new cd...AND Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and Sea Lab 2021 are out on DVD....i need to save up some money. ill write later

when im alone i feel so much better.

*xo*xo*